Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Get Up From Where You Fell Down

KT always said what you're most afraid of, will keep coming back to haunt you. I developed a sore spot about 10 years ago when I was studying down under. In general, I do quite ok in exams and tests, all kinds. Looking back at my past performance, I have never failed any major exams or tests. But then I have this sore spot, I simply couldn't get a feel of it. The shadow of this sore spot keeps a lot of fear in myself, hinders me to move forward. It is like a glass ceiling, I push outwards, but always get bounced back.

I avoided this sore spot for 10 years, 10 full years. I thought I could get through it, without having to face it again in my life. However, it proves to be wrong. This sore spot is definitely considered to be a basic skill in modern life. Without it, you may find you are being stranded in a place of nowhere.

10 years ago, of course, money was a big problem. No income, all expenses and living off savings. Now money is no longer such a big problem. I think I have to pick myself up and face the problem, tackle it directly. I should overcome the phobia, instead of letting the phobia overwhelm me. The process may be long, it takes at least a couple of months to get there.

I must keep fighting, until that phobia is gone, forever.

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